Setting People Up For Success
Posted March 5, 2015on:
I had a job interview this week. It was an inspiring experience and I learned an important lesson that I want to impress into my consciousness. That lesson is about doing your part to set people up for SUCCESS rather than up for failure.
I had sent my application in for this job a few weeks ago, and last week I received a call to come in for an interview – Hooray! The woman on the other end of the line was pleasant and clear. She thanked me for my application and congratulated me on my being selected for an interview. Then she proceeded to give me lengthy and clear directions on how to get to the interview, what time to show up, what to wear, what to expect when I arrived, and how long it would take. In my mind, I was almost like, “Alright already, I got it, you can stop talking now.”
But as we hung up the phone, I was both grateful and a little scared. The information she shared made it about 98% probable that I would make it to the interview without any problem. The information she shared also made it so I could not have an excuse if I didn’t!
I decided to be grateful.
A week passed and the day of the interview arrived. I got there extra early at her behest (not a trait I normally exhibit) and felt confident because of what she had told me. Then, ten minutes before the interview, one of the interviewers came out to give me a list of the exact questions they would be asking me so that I could be completely prepared. He said they would be asking me all those questions and ONLY those questions. “WOW!” I thought, “this feels so good to go into that room prepared with what I am going to say and knowing that I am not going to be asked some random trick question that I have no answer for.” Then I thought, “they are really setting people up for success, and that is great. But, now their decision will be even harder because all the candidates will do a great job. I don’t know if that is wise.” And I noticed how odd it was that I would even think that.
The interview consisted of several questions about what Success means to me and about being a team player and about conflict in the workplace. I really liked most of the questions and felt really relaxed. Oddly enough, I left the interview realizing that I did not take full advantage of the advance notice, and many of my answers were lacking in real substance because I still went in with the attitude of “winging it.” So, we shall see if I get a call back for a second interview. But I digress.
Anyhow, living this short experience caused me to reflect on the times in my life when I have caused people to stumble instead of succeed, and I wondered about the reasons for that. As a RED, with the spiritual gift of Leadership, SUCCESS and RESULTS are extremely important to me. My heart instinctively wants to set people up for success – so why would I ever NOT do that?
Because most of my life I have not been living in my heart. And I don’t blame myself for that. It took me years to know what that even means to me. Gaining a deeper understanding of the Colors, these spiritual gifts that come from our hearts, has been profoundly helpful. I have nurtured the ability to look for these gifts in people and to see the beauty that people ooze when this unconscious spirit of giving from the hearts takes over.
It has also become increasingly clear to me that when we are not operating from our heart, we are operating from our Ego, which is the same as being in “survivor mode” and carries with it the spirit of Taking rather than Giving. We end up being the exact OPPOSITE of what our gift is, and we HURT the people around us rather than BLESS them. And it is VERY PAINFUL to realize you have done these things. Our EGO will do everything it can to keep us BLIND to it and to justify our behavior in our minds in the off chance that we get a glimpse of it. So…
Unconsciously, Leaders put stumbling blocks in front of people and ridicule, hurt and blame them when they are not able to achieve results.
Unconsciously, Promoters spread vicious rumors about people and blame them for robbing both of them of their Joy.
Unconsciously, Analyzers will stop exploring and wall themselves away from the world, keeping their questions and their answers to themselves.
Unconsciously, Healers cause more problems and pain for people rather than offering healthy solutions.
Unconsciously, Teachers will make you feel stupid so they can feel superior and you are left in the dark.
Unconsciously, Artists will judge you for how you look or what you do rather than love you and help you become beautiful.
Unconsciously, Nurturers will cast you away rather than embrace and comfort you and keep you out of harm’s way.
I found it extremely difficult to write these hurtful sentences. Historically, I have not allowed myself to look at myself and others in these states of being mainly because Archangel Michael encourages us not to look at the TRAPS of others. BUT, he does encourage us to be mindful and vigilant of our own traps. And I haven’t in some ways because it HURTS and for the reasons I stated above.
This is where SELF CARE becomes extremely important – for when we are not VIGILANT every day to love ourselves and be grateful for a Loving and Capable God that will take care of ALL of our needs, we quickly and inadvertently revert back to operating in survival mode with our egos back in the drivers seat.
And that hurts EVERYONE.
But the GOOD news is, we can all LOVINGLY help each other out of our traps by being in our own Giftedness from our HEARTS.
So I will end this blog with an APOLOGY and a PROMISE. I am truly sorry for all the things I have said and done to hurt people. Sometimes it has been on purpose, and sometimes it has not. Either way, I take full responsibility for all of it.
And with that responsibility I make this promise – I will do my very best to SET PEOPLE UP FOR SUCCESS from this day forward.